Nelson makeup artist Asher has battled some mean demons to get where she is today, including desperate grief from the loss of her mother, and obesity brought on by a string of life events. She talked to Tracy Neal about life, weight loss and recovery.
The professional makeup artist, who loved woodwork above all else at school, didn’t know then that her flair for sculpting would one day shape her life.
Asher is the energy and drive behind Nelson’s mobile makeup business, Asher Artistry, which works with commercial and private clients, from fashion shoots to weddings and makeup education clinics.
There are so many moving parts to Asher’s story, it’s hard to know where to begin. So, we’ll start in the kitchen of her beloved mother, Lorraine. The memory is where Asher goes for comfort from the yearning, and to piece together how her problems began.
The gradual decline from active teen, who enjoyed sport and was a star discus thrower, to what in clinical terms was morbidly obese, ran parallel to life crises which reached a peak upon the death of her mother from cancer in early 2020.
“Mum survived stage four breast cancer when I was 14. She had an enormous battle and survived that, and then she was diagnosed with lung cancer in November 2019. She was gone three months later.”
Asher says it was at the point, after years of battling to control her weight, that she gave up.
It was not until she made the link between her mental and physical condition that she resorted to surgery.
Her decision to go public is so she can control her own narrative and avoid gossip. She wants people to know what’s involved.
“People might still have their opinions, but I want to be honest, and I’ve also never wanted to glorify surgery in that it’s the easy option because that’s not the case. For me, it was the last resort.”
A little over a year after a mini gastric bypass surgery she is 47 kilograms lighter and brimming with vitality. Business is going well after she fought hard to achieve professional qualifications in her chosen field, which followed several years working in hospitality around the world.
She’s always loved makeup and would often spend a lot of time getting ready for work.
“I loved how makeup made me feel. It made me feel confident, it made me feel fun. I loved the colours and I loved playing with them.
“Once I realised I could merge my passion for makeup and people into one, I decided in 2014 to study fashion makeup artistry at Weltec in Wellington.”
Asher says it was intense and extremely demanding, with a high dropout rate, but she was determined.
“I wanted to work in film, on fashion photo shoots and with brides – it was my dream, and I was so driven.”
She put up her hand for every volunteer job going, studied all day, practised applying makeup most of the night and then, her tutor sat her down and told her: “I don’t think this is for you.”
Asher says she was distraught, but then set about to prove that tutor 100 per cent wrong.
“I got there and won the end-of-year competition for best hair and makeup.”
Her fresh-scrubbed, makeup-free face during our interview is a lag-over from days at the MAC cosmetic counter when she learned how intimidated many customers were by the highly made-up staff.
After graduation, Asher worked at MAC Cosmetics in Wellington, then transferred with the company to Melbourne, where she was soon an assistant manager.
“I found that people talked to me differently if I wore a lot of makeup – they spoke to me like I was scary and intimidating which really upset me because I’m neither of those things.
“I was wearing a mask that portrayed somebody I’m not.”
Asher has used a natural bent for the human condition in the work she does today, and in the steps she has taken to improve, and maintain her health. Part of her weight loss surgery package included analysis and discussion to figure out why the weight had been piling on.
“I went back a few years to figure out why am I like this? We grew up in a house where there was no packet food; mum made everything from scratch. She would spend hours in the kitchen, and I have strong memories of her singing along to Pink Floyd and cooking. Food had a huge importance in the family – everything revolved around it.”
Asher says the size of food portions play a large part in managing weight loss, but this is not widely understood. Her own analysis links it to the “reward” system many of us grew up with – having to eat everything on our plate before the treat of dessert.
“I think now, that’s just not right. It teaches you that even if you’re full, keep eating because you’re going to want this amazing dessert.
“I would sit there for an hour, so full already, but really wanting that ice cream.”
Asher says as an active youngster who loved swimming and sport, she was trim, but after puberty she recalls becoming one of the larger in her group of friends.
“I put on lots of weight and then got to the point where I was like, right, I’ve got to do something about this.”
At the time she was in the throes of a move overseas, so joined a Weightwatcher’s programme and a gym. A year’s commitment saw the kilos drop away to a magic weight of 67 kilos, and in 2008 she took flight for Canada.
But winter struck, and Asher had to give up her job due to administrative reasons around her visa.
“I wasn’t able to work, it was the dead of winter in Canada, and despite my best efforts the weight began piling on again.”
Five years after heading to Canada, and after a brief time in the UK, Asher was back in New Zealand where she tried hypnotherapy, online nutrition appointments, joined the Noom weight loss app, and paid for advice from multiple personal trainers and psychologists.
“I tried every bloody thing you could have, but I couldn’t remember a time when I stood on the scales and my weight wasn’t more than the previous time. It was never the same, or never less, I was just growing and growing.”
Asher persisted, and in 2015 she completed her professional makeup qualifications, moved to Australia and then back to Nelson a couple of years later to launch Asher Artistry. It wasn’t too much later she lost her mother, and New Zealand went into Level Four lockdown.
“I was just…I couldn’t give a sh.. anymore. I had reached the point where I thought, ‘this is me now, and I need to accept that this is my life – I’m going to be a very overweight person’.
“I’d just given up.”
At age 32 she could not walk longer than two minutes without excruciating back pain, and couldn't tie her shoelaces, because bending down was so painful it felt like she was crushing her organs.
“I’d almost got to the point I was proud of myself for eating badly. I’d go buy fast food, eat it, and tell myself, ‘Yeah, go you’.”
Asher realises now that depression played a big part in what was a highly self-destructive habit. She was addicted to food and was eventually diagnosed with binge eating disorder.
She scraped together almost $30,000, helped by a personal loan after use of her Kiwisaver fund was denied, to have the surgery performed privately at the Christchurch Weight Loss Clinic. The surgery and recovery were painless, unlike that experienced by others she has spoken with.
“I know so many people who’ve had this, who’ve seriously struggled with the after-effects: Pain, massive amounts of nausea, all the stuff that goes on with having your tummy re-wired.
“Most said if they knew how sick they would feel afterwards, they never would have done it, whereas I loved my recovery.”
She puts that down to the surgeon, who performed exquisite key-hole surgery and the after-care team at the clinic, including their reaction when she asked for lunch a day after the procedure, following a prescribed walk.
“I finished that, looked at them and said, ‘Um, I’m quite hungry’. They said I couldn’t be, even after I told them I hadn’t eaten in 36 hours.
“I mean, there’s never been a time in my life I’ve been sick enough I’ve never wanted food, ever. I’d have food poisoning and suddenly ask for cheese and crackers.”
Asher says the cup of beef Oxo she was given was close to the most amazing lunch she’s ever had. The liquid diet over following weeks was less impressive, but the noticeable weight loss made up for it.
“It’s rapid at the start, because of the very limited food – there’s a liquid stage, a puree stage and then soft food, for about two weeks at each stage.”
Asher did not want to lose weight too rapidly because of the toll it could take on her general health, and she was also worried about being left with a lot of loose skin.
A year on, Asher says she has developed a new approach, and love for food, cooking from scratch like her mother used to, with music blaring in the background.
“Even though I can’t really eat it, it’s the piecing together with love and enjoyment that is so important.”
If you’d like to know more about Asher’s journey, follow her on Instagram @asher.artistry
For help with weight loss, talk to your doctor, or visit health.govt.nz
