Ten years after an orchestrated, sustained and vicious series of attacks that nearly broke her, Becky Duncan is back with a mission to empower and educate women to take control of their online security and safety.
Words: Judene Edgar
The successful author, business owner and web developer was working online with another developer to build a new website when things started to go wrong. Nothing big at first, but it escalated quickly. First his work quality started slipping, then he began missing deadlines, and despite this, he was demanding payment for work he’d never delivered. Becky went to arbitration and successfully ended their working relationship, but then everything changed.
He commenced a series of relentless attacks on all fronts… he sent hundreds of emails threatening her, he sent her sexually and verbally abusive messages, he cloned her social media accounts, he hacked her website … and that was just the start. He engaged a hacker site giving out her details and literally hundreds of men joined in the attacks on her. Then he created fake pornographic imagery and set up a sexually derogatory Facebook page and sent out messages to her contacts saying she was a sex worker and was available for $200… this time he was doing as he promised, everything in his power to ruin her and her career.
“He knew my contact numbers, my home address, and that I was a single parent,” she says. “I was petrified.”
She contacted the police and Facebook but neither of them was able or prepared to help. “The law can’t keep up with the pace of change of technology and Facebook just weren’t interested,” she says.
So Becky had to help herself. She put out fires on all fronts – messaging people to correct information he’d sent, closing social media accounts, changing email addresses, and even changing her name.
Two years later cyberbullying legislation was adopted, but as her cyberbully was located overseas, it still would not have had any impact on him. And despite this, incidents of online bullying, harassment, and all forms of harmful content have continued to skyrocket. At particular risk are Māori, children, and women. Breakfast host Jenny May Clarkson is the most recent high-profile New Zealand victim of fraudsters who have targeted her in attempts to extort payment.
For someone that had lived, loved, worked and played online, her life as she knew it was over. Becky spent the next few years too scared to go online, keeping a low profile, never sure when he might reappear again. But determined not to be broken, she also spent time working on her emotional, mental and spiritual healing.
And as she shared her story, she kept hearing of more and more women who had experienced cyberbullying, identity theft, financial fraud, online dating scams and more. “I just kept thinking about the need of this large group of vulnerable online women entrepreneurs and what I could do to help them.
People don’t know what they don’t know. They don’t know what they need to do to protect themselves.”
As her confidence regained, so too did her resolve to not let what happened to her go to waste. Instead, she would use what she’d learned and experienced, coupled with her online skills to help keep other people safe. With burgeoning identity fraud and scams such as romance scams, fake job offers, death threat scams, lottery scans, investment and even rental property scams, New Zealand consumers, businesses and the economy are losing $9.4 billion each year, and growing.
“Hackers and scammers can get you on so many fronts, from text messages, to fake websites, to cloned social media accounts, and emails.” Becky says that emails can be particularly dangerous, because once they get into your email account, they can gain access to so much of your personal and financial life and create havoc for you and possibly for friends and family also, using your address to send phishing emails.
And even if you don’t lose money, research commissioned by Netsafe estimated that cyberbullying, harassment and online threats is costing its victims over $400 million each year in unpaid hours spent dealing with the damage. The study also found that while one in ten New Zealand adults have been bullied online, it was more common among teens and people in their twenties with almost half of 18 and 19-year-olds suffering some kind of cyber abuse.
“People think it won’t happen to them so can tend to be complacent. There is so much ‘private’ information readily available online; people use the same passwords for everything, and scammers are becoming more and more sophisticated,” says Becky.
Becky wasn’t able to get the help she needed, but determined not to let the same thing happen to others, she’s set up a new service called Cyber Self Defence Coach. “Thanks to AI there are a lot more tools available to help people so that hopefully they’ll never go through what I went through. My heart is to help women to have peace of mind online and be successful in their businesses.”
She says that she’s focusing on women entrepreneurs like herself, as she understands how hard and alone it can feel having to do everything for yourself.
“There are so many areas where women are sole traders, such as hairdressers, therapists and wedding planners, and they’re so busy working in the business that they don’t have time to look after their cyber-security needs.”
Her one-stop-shop concept is simple but incredibly helpful: clients take a cyber safe check up to determine where their gaps and areas of potential weakness are, and from there she develops a personalised Cyber Safe Playbook giving them the tools, tricks and tips they need to protect themselves – and if people want, they can also have a one-on-one or small group coaching session to help them implement things.
Googling ‘cyber safety’ nets you about 392,000,000 results in 0.72 seconds, but where to go from there can be very confusing and overwhelming according to Becky.
“Instead of trying to Google and coming up with more results than you know what to do with, the key is finding what’s right for you and for your needs, that’s why the personalised service is so important.
Software such as Bodyguard.ai provides content moderation, removing toxic, derogatory and inappropriate content from Facebook pages, or use of 1Password which provides password security and saves you from having to remember multiple passwords.
We can’t avoid being online, using emails or going to websites, but we can learn how to protect ourselves.”
Becky’s back in love with the online world, but says that she’ll never feel the same level of freedom and can never use her name again. “The online world should be open and safe for everyone to use. Sadly, it isn’t. Everyone is at risk but my mission is to empower and educate women to take control of their online security and psychological safety.”
Becky's Digital Defence Drill - Nine simple habits to keep you safe online:
